one night during the period of My life when I was being constantly deceived by an agent of real evil in the world I thought God spoke to Me His voice was clear in the clutter of My shaking skull and it told Me the real intentions and doings of the evil agent and even before I found out He was telling the truth I believed Him fully so I prayed three times in a row and said I would devote My life to christianity (I don’t believe in self-fulfilling prophecies when they apply to My life and being a christian devotee was too much of a drag I don’t like waking up early and sundays become dismal when you read them on a calendar) then later in a much less excited state I wrote a short hateful suicide note and tried to hang Myself in My closet but I was too tall to actually join my sweaters and coats in their row of suspension so I just went to bed 

this was all before I recognized the Holy Psychic Radio for what it is 

God is not real and I know now that the voice was My own and it was clear because it was the first in a while to cut through a fattening butter of the brain that a number of skullsuckers had taken turns applying through a large opening on the back of My weirdly shaped skull that I pretend not to notice when I graze it with My fingers and I’d like to believe that this application of butter doesn’t happen anymore but there is certainly a case for it because there are certainly still skullsuckers abounding but the trouble is that I have a hard time admitting to myself that most people I meet are just genuinely rotten so I decide to ignore the negative vibration from My Holy Psychic Radio for some goal of social comfort or selfishness and also I still taste butter when I sneeze the end